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Wingwoman (n.): 1.) A woman, either heterosexual or homosexual, who is friends with a man and will often help said man meet and deal with women in various situations. 2.) A crucial, but not often used or highlighted part of the team.

I’ve known a couple wingwomen in my lifetime and man have they’ve made my life magical. It’s not just because they’ve set me up with more cootie cat than an animal shelter. Yes, I said cootie cat. Actually before I get into it, I just want it to be known – I have the utmost respect for my wingmen. How could I not, I’ve run with some soon-to-be Hall Of Famers. There are just some things that a wingwoman excels at.

“Yep, She Likes You”

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting in some bar, doing your best to read her signals. But it’s a little difficult this time. It could be the drinks, it could be the loud music or it could just be that she’s not being that explicit unless you’re in Atlanta. One minute she’s touching your arm during the conversation because you told that one funny story that happened to you that one time and the next she turns into Slit My Wrists Sally because the DJ cut Jay’s “Give It To Me” short. And there you are deciding whether you should go get it, stop and cut your losses or just make a U Turn. Well a wingwoman will accurately translate the subtleties for you and let you know whether you should holla or not bother wasting your time with that yamp.

They Won’t Even Know They Got Got

One time I went to this swanky, Euro lounge in Boston with my homie, The Woman Whisperer. We waded through the crowd, made it to the bar and I ordered my usual Stoli O and tonic. Once I got my drink, I turned to face the crowd, leaned against the bar and began to talk with my homegirl. After a few laughs, someone caught my eye. I looked left and I saw this pretty caramel toned young lady with curly brown hair in an off-white dress dancing over in the corner with her friend. We caught each others’ eyes for a moment and then I returned to my conversation.

Little did I know, The Woman Whisperer had taken notice. When the woman and her friend came closer, she started conversation with the unsuspecting woman about her heels. After talking with her for about two minutes, The Woman Whisperer smoothly transitioned me into the conversation and gave us the necessary bridge for us to begin talking. And since she’s an MVP, she knows that offense isn’t the only way to win a game. Once she had that mission accomplished, she started chatting it up with the PYT’s friend to stop her from cockblocking. …Salute!

You Start to Learn the Tools of the Trade

If you hang out with someone who speaks Spanish long enough, sooner or later you’ll be in leaning on the counter in your local Bodega with a bag of Fried Plantain Chips and Nantucket Nectar in your hand, talking about who the Knicks are going to get for next season en Espanol. “Papi, soy un testigo.”

It’s the same thing with wingwomen. I’ve picked up a lot of useful lessons by osmosis. After awhile you start to see a pattern like Neo in the Matrix. Somehow it’s gotten a little easier to tell if a woman’s into you, if she’s crazy and/or if she’s a bi or not. Pretty crucial stuff.

Wingwomen out there, thank you. Consider this an ode to you and all those wonderful women like you. Fellas, if there’s one that’s part of your team, I suggest you give her a hug and let her know you appreciate her. But if you don’t know one, I’m sorry. A wingwoman is like a smartphone – you don’t think you need it and then when you have one, you don’t know how you managed without it for so long.

Let’s declare today National Wingwoman Day. Fellas, do you know a wingwoman? If so please, share your best story. Are there any wingwomen out there? Well then let us know why you’re the best one out there. Let’s crown the best wingwoman today.