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Pretty Boys Problems
This might sound kind of ridiculous, but I actually feel bad for really handsome guys sometimes. Sure, feeling bad for good-looking dudes is like feeling bad for lottery winners—cue the collective eye-roll. But, you know, problems are problems, no matter how petty they seem.
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And yeah, everybody’s got issues. Jet.
I can honestly say I know a lot of really handsome men. I also know a lot of formerly handsome men, which makes for a great control group to compare the woes of “handsome past their prime” versus “handsome in their prime.” Time, as it does, eventually humbles us all. For every Denzel, there’s a washed-up Abercrombie model trying to convince folks his jawline is still sharp. Time slips…into the future. Poignant.
But back to these pretty boys and their problems. Because they’re handsome, the world assumes they’ve got life on easy mode. And sure, handsome guys have their advantages. But they’ve also got struggles. For instance, while average dudes get side-eyed by strangers or ignored entirely, handsome guys are magnets for everyone: admirers, frenemies, haters, clout-chasers—you name it.
Here are a few pretty boy problems:
1. Quality Control
How’s a guy supposed to find “the one” when he’s got the whole damn buffet lined up, waving complimentary drink tickets and IG handles? Pretty boys live in a state of constant flirtation—wanted, envied, and objectified. The DMs are full, but the emotional bank account? Overdrawn. Imagine trying to find someone who likes you for you when most people only see cheekbones and a fade.
It’s like a dude in a Maserati trying to figure out if a valet actually respects him or just wants to park the car.
2. The Hater Society (Men’s Chapter)
The acronym might not hit, but the energy is the same. Handsome men have haters for days, especially other men. Let’s be real—guys side-eye other guys who come into the room looking like a GQ cover. Your average dude immediately assumes the pretty boy is either a player, shallow, or somehow less “manly.” Sure, sometimes he is. But not always.
The truth is, pretty boys aren’t always out here stealing girlfriends or flashing veneers in bathroom selfies. Some just want to exist without a side of judgment. But nope—other men refuse to give them peace. It’s exhausting.
3. Nobody Thinks They’re Smart
When people see a fine dude, they expect him to model watches, not solve Rubik’s cubes. Handsome men rarely get credit for their brains. Nobody asks a pretty boy for advice on how to invest in stocks or their take on existentialism. Even if he’s the smartest guy in the room, people assume his primary skill set involves abs and smizing.
It’s like that one time someone actually gave Tyrese a microphone and let him talk. Everybody panicked.
4. Unrealistic Expectations
Imagine looking so good that people project their entire dream man fantasy onto you. The problem is, reality rarely stacks up. Handsome guys get judged harder because people assume their lives are perfect, their hygiene is flawless, and their charm is endless. But then, the second he slips—like wearing socks with sandals or forgetting to text back in under 30 seconds—he’s public enemy number one.
And God forbid he doesn’t have a personality. Many handsome men are victims of their own looks. When the world has been nice to you because of your face, you don’t always need to be funny, charismatic, or deep. So, when they do need those skills, they’re like, “Wait…people actually expect me to be interesting too?”
5. Unsolicited Attention
We’ve all heard how annoying it is for women to deal with constant attention from strangers. Now imagine being a dude who also can’t pump gas without someone sliding into the next pump “for no reason.” Sure, a lot of men wouldn’t mind that. But when everyone—from your grandma’s friends to your coworker’s cousins—is staring at you like a piece of cake, it gets old fast. Sometimes, pretty boys just want to walk through Target without being asked if they’re single.
Handsome fellas, I feel for you. You have your struggles too. All you want is someone who sees beyond the aesthetics and values you for who you are.
Pretty boys, speak out. Let me hear your plight.
And guys, on the real—you’re all dimes in your own way.
So, do handsome men have it rough, or is this just first-world problems at its finest? Are pretty boy problems valid, or should they take their perfect jawlines and deal with it?